My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
