maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
