I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
