you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize