Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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