We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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