Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
