3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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