Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
