Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
