Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
