I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
