# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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