I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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