How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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