i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
