Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Less talking, more tequila
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize