Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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