Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize