Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
