He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
