Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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