absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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