I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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