just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh god it's open bar.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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