Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Im part way to drunk.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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