I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
