thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
