i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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