Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize