Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
