I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
