I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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