Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
