I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Are we still banned from the library?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
