So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
