My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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