The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
