how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
