She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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