Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
