we have pet lesbian snakes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
