You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
