well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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