please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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