I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
