Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
