you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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