Already got asked if we're dating
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
