he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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