When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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