he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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