I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Boobs speak an international language.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
