Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
