i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
