Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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