btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
