I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
