16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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