you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
