Don't make out with my wife yet
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
